Waking up at 6:00 in the morning is never a very thrilling experience, especially when you're like me and you go to bed no earlier than midnight every single night. Last night, or rather this morning, was no exception. I finally got to sleep at around 1:15 a.m., and woke at exactly 6 a.m. to my iPhone's obnoxiously loud alarm. (I use the "ALARM" tone on purpose, due to the fact that it IS obnoxiously loud. Were it not obnoxiously loud, I would probably not wake up. And had I not woken up, I would not have had time to shower in time for my 6:30 departure from my house. This would be bad, because I sweat profusely when I sleep, and my hair tends to become incredibly greasy and disheveled. Therefore, I always smell quite pungent when I slide from under the covers. In short: I am not a pleasant person to be around when I don't shower in the morning. But I digress. Parenthetically.) I then hopped in the shower (for information on why, see my last parenthetical spiel), dried myself, applied the necessary toiletries, and departed...late, of course, since my family can never seem to get out of the house on time. But I don't blame them. 6:30 is way too fucking early to do anything properly.
I snatch a Mountain Dew VOLTAGE from the fridge as we head out the door. I drink this and eat a ham and cheese bagel as we speed off toward the school. An hour and a half drive later, we arrive, and I head to the check-in table. After checking in, I head to the first destination--the reception desk, to have my picture taken for my "Access Card", which allows me to get into dormitories and maintain my FLEX account. In other words, with this access card I will be able to both sleep and eat. This makes me happy, and I go through the rest of the morning with a smile on my face, knowing that for the next several months of my life, beginning in August, I WILL in fact be able to eat and sleep!
The president of the university gives a funny speech about starting your college career off right. One wouldn't expect an old fart like him to give a good speech, but it was actually entertaining. By the end, I felt bad for calling him an old fart in my head before he started speaking. I even felt bad typing it just now. But I digress yet again. After several boring speeches by several boring (and ugly) people, we head out to meet our student orientation assistants, who guide us to an overview of Gen Ed stuff. Also boring. The man talking about General Education was balding and blathering. I nearly fell asleep, but managed to stay awake by making fun of the man as he spoke (out loud, much to the chagrin of my auditorium neighbor).
We then had lunch with our orientation guides, and they told us they were glad to have met us and sent us on our way, to meet with our freshman advisers. My freshman adviser helped me choose classes! It was awesome! I have 15 credit hours for the first semester! I am very excited about it! Can't you tell by my exclamation points?
After choosing classes, my freshman adviser told me to email her with questions. I then left and began exploring the campus, wandering around and familiarizing myself with the layout. While familiarizing myself, I got lost. (I thought this was a good thing. I'll need to be familiar with being lost on campus, since I'll probably get lost on campus every day during my first week.) I took the map out of my backpack and examined it, hoping to find the right direction. But I was on the backside of some part of campus, where NO SIGNS EXISTED. The buildings I was staring at had no signs. The signs were on the OTHER sides of the buildings, where people were supposed to be walking. I must have been in the weird faculty-chill-and-smoke-and-hide-from-students-and-other-people area, where there are no signs of life.
I finally made my way to the quad and chilled for a bit on a bench, while reading through my course catalog. Then it started to rain so I booked it to the bookstore (Ha. Pun. Wow. I'm fucking stupid.), and met my parents. There, I bought a t-shirt for my school, a book about my school, and... a rubber protective cover for my MacBook Pro keyboard. Cool right? Wrong. I'm a fucking nerd and I know it. Shut up.
Anyway, after that we went and picked up my access card. Then we headed home, stopping for dinner. My sister and I cursed profusely on the way home, and she threatened to shit her pants if my dad didn't drive faster. I farted numerous times, and laughed when everyone went "OHH GOD THAT'S SO GROSS" and rolled their windows down.
And now I'm home writing all of this down in a blog, which probably very few people will read.
Life is weird, isn't it?
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