How to Become Famous

Be witty.
Don't fuck around.
Get serious.

-C.

Classic Movies and the Like

I've been watching an assortment of classic films lately. Most of them are taking from the AFI "100 Years...100 Films" list. Yesterday I watched four films: Taxi Driver, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, On the Waterfront, and Fargo. My favorite out of those four was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. On the Waterfront was a close second, followed by Fargo, and then Taxi Driver. Nicholson was BRILLIANT as McMurphy in One Flew, and I <3 Marlon Brando (and, bear in mind, I don't use the "<3" as a meaning for "love" very often. So I mean that). Fargo, it was just fuckin' awesome. Intense, brilliantly woven, well-shot, excellently acted, and fucking HILARIOUS at times. It was ballsy! And epic! The only reason I didn't really like Taxi Driver as much as I thought I would was probably because I put it with a bunch of really good movies. If I'd watched it by itself I may have liked it better. Parts I found to be superfluous, other parts seemed just kind of weird. But De Niro is a hell of an actor.

Today, I watched another De Niro/Scorsese collaboration: Raging Bull. LOVED IT! De Niro's acting was brilliant, and the fact that he trained as a boxer in order to prepare to play a boxer is just amazing to me. And as for gaining all that weight to play the old, washed-up La Motta--wow. That's dedication.

Anyway, that's all. Really no point to this post, other than to commend these great films. Continuing with the filmfest later this week! Later!

-C.

Brief Stuff on Independence Day

Independence Day is one of my favorite holidays. Why?

1. It's the only time anyone really gets to celebrate how they beat the shit out of Great Britain almost 250 years ago. That was hard to do. Canada won independence from Britain, but Britain just kind of said "Here you go." With us, it's different. We kicked their asses.

2. It's one of the only holidays where you don't have to buy gifts for people. This is always exciting for me. I get to yell "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!" without having to hand someone a stupid card or a lame ass present.

3. You don't really have to change your eating habits before or after this holiday. For those of you who eat less leading up to and following Thanksgiving and Christmas (I don't, because I have an absurdly high metabolism still), fourth of July must also be a good holiday, since you can eat normally.

4. You don't have to stay home all day and have "family time" for all 24 hours of the day. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, your family is a necessary part. You're not allowed to go ANYWHERE unless your FAMILY IS WITH YOU! With Independence Day, it's different, because the celebration isn't about family or Jesus. It's about AMERICA. And in AMERICA, you're FUCKING INDEPENDENT. SO GET OUT.

5. Fireworks are fucking awesome. Don't deny that shit.

-C.

College Visits and Nonsense

Today I visited my soon-to-be college. I won't tell you what college it is because you'll be a creeper and stalk me. But I will tell you the basics of my day.

Waking up at 6:00 in the morning is never a very thrilling experience, especially when you're like me and you go to bed no earlier than midnight every single night. Last night, or rather this morning, was no exception. I finally got to sleep at around 1:15 a.m., and woke at exactly 6 a.m. to my iPhone's obnoxiously loud alarm. (I use the "ALARM" tone on purpose, due to the fact that it IS obnoxiously loud. Were it not obnoxiously loud, I would probably not wake up. And had I not woken up, I would not have had time to shower in time for my 6:30 departure from my house. This would be bad, because I sweat profusely when I sleep, and my hair tends to become incredibly greasy and disheveled. Therefore, I always smell quite pungent when I slide from under the covers. In short: I am not a pleasant person to be around when I don't shower in the morning. But I digress. Parenthetically.) I then hopped in the shower (for information on why, see my last parenthetical spiel), dried myself, applied the necessary toiletries, and departed...late, of course, since my family can never seem to get out of the house on time. But I don't blame them. 6:30 is way too fucking early to do anything properly.

I snatch a Mountain Dew VOLTAGE from the fridge as we head out the door. I drink this and eat a ham and cheese bagel as we speed off toward the school. An hour and a half drive later, we arrive, and I head to the check-in table. After checking in, I head to the first destination--the reception desk, to have my picture taken for my "Access Card", which allows me to get into dormitories and maintain my FLEX account. In other words, with this access card I will be able to both sleep and eat. This makes me happy, and I go through the rest of the morning with a smile on my face, knowing that for the next several months of my life, beginning in August, I WILL in fact be able to eat and sleep!

The president of the university gives a funny speech about starting your college career off right. One wouldn't expect an old fart like him to give a good speech, but it was actually entertaining. By the end, I felt bad for calling him an old fart in my head before he started speaking. I even felt bad typing it just now. But I digress yet again. After several boring speeches by several boring (and ugly) people, we head out to meet our student orientation assistants, who guide us to an overview of Gen Ed stuff. Also boring. The man talking about General Education was balding and blathering. I nearly fell asleep, but managed to stay awake by making fun of the man as he spoke (out loud, much to the chagrin of my auditorium neighbor).

We then had lunch with our orientation guides, and they told us they were glad to have met us and sent us on our way, to meet with our freshman advisers. My freshman adviser helped me choose classes! It was awesome! I have 15 credit hours for the first semester! I am very excited about it! Can't you tell by my exclamation points?

After choosing classes, my freshman adviser told me to email her with questions. I then left and began exploring the campus, wandering around and familiarizing myself with the layout. While familiarizing myself, I got lost. (I thought this was a good thing. I'll need to be familiar with being lost on campus, since I'll probably get lost on campus every day during my first week.) I took the map out of my backpack and examined it, hoping to find the right direction. But I was on the backside of some part of campus, where NO SIGNS EXISTED. The buildings I was staring at had no signs. The signs were on the OTHER sides of the buildings, where people were supposed to be walking. I must have been in the weird faculty-chill-and-smoke-and-hide-from-students-and-other-people area, where there are no signs of life.

I finally made my way to the quad and chilled for a bit on a bench, while reading through my course catalog. Then it started to rain so I booked it to the bookstore (Ha. Pun. Wow. I'm fucking stupid.), and met my parents. There, I bought a t-shirt for my school, a book about my school, and... a rubber protective cover for my MacBook Pro keyboard. Cool right? Wrong. I'm a fucking nerd and I know it. Shut up.

Anyway, after that we went and picked up my access card. Then we headed home, stopping for dinner. My sister and I cursed profusely on the way home, and she threatened to shit her pants if my dad didn't drive faster. I farted numerous times, and laughed when everyone went "OHH GOD THAT'S SO GROSS" and rolled their windows down.

And now I'm home writing all of this down in a blog, which probably very few people will read.

Life is weird, isn't it?