1. It's the only time anyone really gets to celebrate how they beat the shit out of Great Britain almost 250 years ago. That was hard to do. Canada won independence from Britain, but Britain just kind of said "Here you go." With us, it's different. We kicked their asses.
2. It's one of the only holidays where you don't have to buy gifts for people. This is always exciting for me. I get to yell "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!" without having to hand someone a stupid card or a lame ass present.
3. You don't really have to change your eating habits before or after this holiday. For those of you who eat less leading up to and following Thanksgiving and Christmas (I don't, because I have an absurdly high metabolism still), fourth of July must also be a good holiday, since you can eat normally.
4. You don't have to stay home all day and have "family time" for all 24 hours of the day. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, your family is a necessary part. You're not allowed to go ANYWHERE unless your FAMILY IS WITH YOU! With Independence Day, it's different, because the celebration isn't about family or Jesus. It's about AMERICA. And in AMERICA, you're FUCKING INDEPENDENT. SO GET OUT.
5. Fireworks are fucking awesome. Don't deny that shit.
-C.
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